A Wound is the Emotional Cause
People often keep wounds secret from others because the wounds conceal a lie, an untruth the character believes about himself.
He may think that he deserved what happened to him, or that he’s unworthy of affection, love, or happiness, etc. The lie usually ingrains self-blame and feelings of shame, generating fears that compel him to change his behavior to avoid further hurt.
For example, if a man feels undeserving of love because of a past tragedy, he may behave in ways that affect his relationships negatively. If he grows close to someone, he might sabotage the relationship before it can become too serious. He may also avoid situations in which he handles others, believing that he will only fail them in the end.
To use a less dramatic scenario, consider a daughter growing up with a father whose work was more important than his family (the wound). She may become a workaholic adult because she wrongly believes career achievement is the key to acceptance. Although she wants a family of her own, she may sacrifice that desire so she can dedicate herself to work. Driven by her career, she sacrifices her health and friendships, achieving success but feeling empty inside.
The lie that plagues your character should center on one of five basic human needs:-
1. Love and Belonging
- Desire for connection, intimacy, friendship, and acceptance.
- Characters may fear abandonment, rejection, or isolation.
- Example conflict: Pushes others away to avoid being hurt, yet deeply longs for connection.
2. Safety and Security
- Need for physical, emotional, and financial stability.
- Characters might fear change, chaos, or betrayal.
- Example conflict: Stays in toxic relationships or rigid routines to avoid uncertainty.
3. Esteem and Self-Worth
- Desire for respect, recognition, and a sense of value.
- Characters may struggle with imposter syndrome, insecurity, or overcompensation.
- Example conflict: Craves praise but fears failure, leading to perfectionism or arrogance.
4. Autonomy and Control
- Need to feel in control of one’s life and choices.
- Characters may resist authority or fear losing independence.
- Example conflict: Rejects help even when needed, or lashes out when feeling powerless.
5. Purpose and Meaning
- Desire to find significance in life or believe their actions matter.
- Characters may feel lost, unfulfilled, or disillusioned.
- Example conflict: Chases hollow goals or masks emptiness with distractions or destructive habits.
While upbringing influences flaws, a significant hurtful experience usually explains a character’s flaw.
This flaw will compromise his path to achieving his dreams and prevent him from reaching his full potential. It’s this weakness that the character will eventually have to overcome by revisiting the past and coming to terms with his old wound.
When building your fictional characters, uncovering this lie is the key to understanding how certain flaws might develop.
Exploring your character’s background helps explain their present actions
Flaws come in different shapes and sizes.
Minor ones are common and rarely impact behavior in a life-altering way. The character has learned to live with these weaknesses, which usually show up when he is under high emotional strain.
Major flaws have dramatic results, twisting the character’s view of himself and his surroundings. These major flaws, often referred to as fatal flaws, are what cause the hero to be “stuck” at the start of his story.
He might not see his flaws, or he might think they are his strengths, stopping him from succeeding. Depending on his perception, the character may seem content at the beginning of the story, although on some level, his life is lacking fulfillment.
External forces hinder him, yet an internal flaw obstructs his self-acceptance.
The internal change that a character undergoes over the course of a story is called the character arc.
At the beginning, he views himself and the world one way, but through growth and inner transformation, he comes to view his life on a deeper, more meaningful level.
In my novel, “When Love Ends, Lies Begin,” Vanessa’s wound is her False belief: “I’m not worthy of my mother’s love.” Wound.
Vanessa believed through a lie that her complicated birth prevented her mother from conceiving more children. Attending boarding school further entrenched Vanessa’s perception that her mother’s affection remained distant.
A Wound is the Emotional Cause
Because of her mother’s emotional distance, and the personal insults about her not being very smart, Vanessa struggled with self-acceptance.
In response, to try to gain her mother’s love, Vanessa did everything her mother asked of her.
Explanation: Vanessa’s internal flaw stems from a deep-seated belief that she’s unworthy of her mother’s love. Therefore, this wound drives her to distrust others in a misguided attempt to protect herself from further rejection.
Hence, in her career as a criminal paralegal, she strives for the truth.
In the end, Vanessa realized she had misunderstood her mother’s way of expressing her love. Her aim was to protect her.