Creating friction amongst your characters
Not only do flaws create powerful internal conflict. They will also cause strife between the hero and his supporting cast.
Conflicting traits can bring out your hero’s darker qualities, while characters with opposing priorities, desires, and behaviors are sure to produce additional tension.
Imagine this scenario: Dana is working hard to prepare for her catering event, one that could lead to some high-profile referrals and put her business on the map. But as a perfectionist by nature, she’s stressed out, triple-checking every detail to make sure the appetizers are garnished and at the correct temperature for serving.
Meanwhile, her long-time friend and new employee Susan is polishing trays to enhance the presentation. She’s focused to a degree, but her mind keeps slipping away to her recent breakup and worries whether she’ll ever find the right guy.
When a flirty waiter swings into the hotel’s kitchen and invites Susan outside for a smoke, she doesn’t think twice. As a result, Dana’s food is placed on unpolished silver trays and served to the guests. Dana discovers the water-spotted trays making their way around the dining hall and becomes furious. This was an important event. How could Susan screw it up? She knows her friend has a blind spot with men and that she’s been especially fragile since her breakup, but she’s hurt that Susan didn’t come through when Dana needed her.
Friction is created here on a couple of levels, complicating the plot and putting a strain on this relationship. The situation has become more complex because Dana wants to support her friend through her difficult time, but she also wants to make her business succeed.
While she thought she could do both, she’s wondering now if she’ll have to choose between her two goals.
There’s also a clash due to differing personalities. Dana’s fussy, hard-working nature is at odds with Susan’s impulsiveness. More conflict emerges when Susan’s priorities shift from doing her job and helping her friend to flirting with the waiter and fulfilling her own desires.
While some positive attributes can conflict with each other and cause tension in relationships, the biggest blowups happen when flaws are involved.
The resulting friction occurs in varying levels of intensity in the form of sparks, fireworks, and explosions.
Ignite
This low-level friction often manifests impatience, frustration, irritation, and disappointment. All of which bubble mostly under the surface, affecting a character’s mood, judgment, and perception.
Outwardly it might cause a verbal exchange that shows a difference in opinions or beliefs. The character may disagree with, doubt the competency of, or pass judgment on another person in the scene. Ignite can strain a friendship, causing one character to question the other’s priorities.
Characters on both sides may harbor resentment or request space in the aftermath. Often the point-of-view character will reflect on the confrontation, understanding what caused it. But when the characters meet again, there will be some awkwardness, but forgiveness can pave the way back to harmony and equilibrium.
In Dana and Susan’s scene, the resulting low-level friction might look like this: Susan slipped in through the back door, with a slight smile on her face. A moment later, the waiter followed, tucking a slip of paper into his jacket. She grabbed the buffing cloth and lifted a tray from her pile of platters, not seeming to notice how it had diminished in her absence. Dana set down her clipboard. “Lining up a date?” With Susan’s goofy grin, Dana had to force her voice to stay even. “Maybe next time you should finish the platters first. Half-a-dozen trays went out covered in watermarks.”
Susan’s shoulders dipped, and her smile melted. “Oh. Well, I had them in two separate piles. You’d think the guys doing the plating would’ve noticed which ones were clean.”
By not accepting responsibility for the dirty platters, Susan hasn’t smoothed things over. An apology would have done wonders, but she shrugged off Dana’s gentle criticism, because she’d expected her friend to be happy that she’d lined up a date instead of scolding her.
Both are feeling less secure in their friendship than they once were, and this unease will remain until the air between them is cleared.
Sparks
This intermediate level of friction kicks emotions up a notch.
Arguments, tense body language, impulsiveness, and reduced empathy may develop. Voices rise as characters speak their minds, often saying things that will hurt the other people’s feelings.
Sparks will have a lasting effect on relationships, making reconciliation more difficult. Healing the rift is possible, but it will take time and effort from both parties to mend their hurt and pride.
Imagine how sparks might transform the confrontation between Susan and Dana: “Lining up a date now, of all nights?” Dana lowered her voice, but each word betrayed her anger. “Come on, Susan! You know how much is riding on this.”
Susan froze mid-swipe. “What’s the big deal? It was a five-minute smoke break.”
Dana motioned toward the dirty stack of trays. “Yes, and a half-dozen unpolished platters went out because of it.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I know you’re hurt about Leo leaving and are eager to get back into dating, but at work, you’ve got to put that aside. I’m relying on you to do your job.”
“I am doing my job.” Susan dropped a tray onto the pile, making the whole thing wobble. “Don’t blame me that someone wasn’t paying enough attention to tell the clean platters from the dirty ones. Besides, the guests won’t even notice those tiny spots. Stop being such a perfectionist.” At this point, Dana is emotionally upset enough that she’s careless with her words, getting personal by bringing up Susan’s neediness with men and hinting at her unreliability. Susan matches anger with anger by minimizing Dana’s frustration over the unpolished platters, and she tops it off with a dig about her perfectionism. Tension crackles between them, and the pride of both characters takes a hit.
Explosion
This high-level friction causes the involved parties to feel raw, uncontrolled anger or rage, betrayal, or humiliation.
By-products include smugness, pride, and contempt that can lead to feelings of hatred. Characters become volatile and may yell, scream, turn violent, or walk out.
They might break things, literally or figuratively, sabotaging the relationship by hurling insults and revealing secrets.
Trust is shattered, and satisfaction blooms when one party is avenged by causing the other emotional pain.
In the aftermath of an explosion, relationships are broken, and long-term resentment sets in as anger flares when the event is mentioned or recalled.
If time does eventually bring the parties back together, the relationship is unlikely to return to what it was before.
Both parties will be overly sensitive, avoiding certain topics and establishing limits in order to protect themselves.
They may find it harder to trust not only the other party but anyone in a similar situation again.
Explosions can create new emotional wounds, altering one’s perception and behavior in the future.
By continuing the scenario between our two friends, let’s see how explosions might develop, this time, viewing the scene from Susan’s perspective:
“Perfectionist?” Dana’s voice scaled the walls and shook a rack of champagne flutes. “Is that what they call it in Sue La-La Land? I built this company from nothing because I pay attention to detail, something you might consider doing once in a while.”
Susan raised her chin. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, to start with, that guy who just pocketed your number. He’s half your age. What do you think he wants from you?”
Susan’s face tingled with heat, and she threw down a silver tray. “Oh, suddenly you’re the relationship expert? Miss Who Hasn’t-Dated-Since-College, Miss I’d-Rather-Be-Working?” She let out an ugly laugh, not caring that everyone in the kitchen was listening.
“I know it must be hard to see other people having real lives, so how about you stay the hell out of mine?” Here, hurtful words fly, judgments are made, and reputations are damaged. Dana knows she’s poking at sensitive areas, but she’s angry enough to speak without considering the results.
Susan lashes out in return, well aware that others are watching but not caring how this fight might damage Dana’s reputation with her employees or the hotel.
When it comes to creating the right amount of conflict, imagine that the tension resulting from clashing traits is a thermostat. Adjust it until you reach the desired heat, then see where the scene goes.
Below are the different roles of flaws in relationships and how they contribute to storytelling:
- Source of Conflict
Flaws ignite interpersonal tension.
When two characters have incompatible flaws or values, conflict naturally arises. For example:
- One character is overly controlling (fear-based flaw), while the other values independence.
- A character with trust issues might constantly accuse their partner of lying, even when they’re innocent.
Friction Outcome: Misunderstandings, arguments, emotional distance.
- Obstacle to Intimacy
Flaws prevent characters from forming deep connections.
Internal wounds or fears cause characters to withhold vulnerability:
- A character who fears abandonment might sabotage a relationship before the other person can leave.
- Someone who feels unworthy of love might reject affection, even when it’s genuine.
Friction Outcome: Push-pull dynamics, emotional walls, lonely partners.
- Masking True Feelings
Flaws hide emotional truths behind unhealthy behaviors.
Characters may use sarcasm, perfectionism, or aggression to cover up deeper insecurities:
- A character who constantly jokes may be afraid of being taken seriously—or hurt.
- A perfectionist may judge others harshly to avoid their own feelings of inadequacy.
Friction Outcome: Misread signals, growing resentment, miscommunication.
- Power Struggles
Flaws affect how characters assert control in the relationship.
- An insecure character might become jealous and possessive.
- A prideful character might refuse to admit they’re wrong, even when it harms the relationship.
Friction Outcome: Power imbalances, ego clashes, emotional manipulation.
- Mirror for Growth (or Resistance)
Flaws are reflected back by other characters.
Relationships act as a mirror, forcing characters to confront parts of themselves:
- A character’s dishonesty is challenged by someone who values truth.
- A selfish person is paired with someone extremely selfless—highlighting imbalance.
Friction Outcome: Either transformation (character arc) or deeper conflict if growth is resisted.
- Triggering Each Other’s Wounds
Flaws can poke at each other’s unresolved pain.
- A character abandoned as a child might be triggered by a partner who frequently travels or emotionally withdraws.
- A character afraid of failure might react harshly to criticism from someone who is blunt or demanding.
Friction Outcome: Emotional volatility, breakdowns, or breakthroughs.
- Creating Tension in Group Dynamics
Flaws disrupt harmony in friend groups, families, or teams.
- A jealous sibling resents their brother’s success.
- A people-pleaser causes problems by avoiding conflict in a high-stakes team.
Friction Outcome: Betrayals, rivalries, shifting alliances.